I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize