so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
