I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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