Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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