I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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