Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
