so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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