No, drunk sperm still make babies.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
