his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
