garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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