Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
