there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize