i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
