haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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