I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
