I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize