woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize