Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize