I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
birth control should be required to get into college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
