why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.