I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's never too late to be topless.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok