remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.