You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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