so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
