i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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