Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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