Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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