does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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