saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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