also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize