Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
