Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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