Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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