Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
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im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
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In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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