How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
