Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
