Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
