he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
