dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it's like heaven, but drunker
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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