I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
