You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
