I cockslap morals
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
