question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
