The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
