HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
now i know why i became what i already was.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
