You just made me feel so damn special
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
