There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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