Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize