we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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