I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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