Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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