1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think people are normalizing furries
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
