The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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