I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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