I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
