i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
