My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Vodka?
Forever.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm just crazy horny about you
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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