She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
